Halala Mama

As I have been completely bemoaning the absolute lack of anything on television this entire summer, there it was, rising out of the hot mess that is “I am a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here….”

Dateline NBC.

Chris Hanson is undercover again.  In Las Vegas.  Grand theft auto, prostitution, drugs, knives, guns and other untold stupidity by dim wits in Sin City.  

Hanson swoops in to talk to them as they are led away in handcuffs; their crimes recorded on hidden cameras. 

Because they are thoroughly obtuse, the soon to be convicts TALK TO HIM.  “Hey, you’re the predator guy.”   Oh, yes, yes he is.  And you, my friend, are definitely on the wrong end of that t-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n camera!

Thank you God.   Please make it a 15 part summer series. 

…

Oh yes, yes, of course I love my husband, my child, my family, my friends…

But, summer, I think I love you most of all.

I finally feel like I have t-i-m-e to do whatEVER I want.  Not what I must.  Not what I need.  What I want.  It’s a priceless feeling. 

So the important tasks on my Sunday evening agenda?

1. Watching the Tony’s.  I could care less about Broadway and can’t imagine how 80’s big hair rock bands have become Broadway worthy.  I do, however, like celebrities and live performances.  So I’m in it for the extra perks, not the awards, which frees me up to do other things while “watching.”
2. Looking up random celebrities (from the Tony’s) in www.imdb.com so my brain itch that asks “Where do I know them from?” can be satisfied.  Thank God, and Al Gore, for the  Internet.
3. Writing some long overdue notes to friends and family and including some pictures from  Adam’s baptism.  I’m using my “good” cards – the ones I bought years ago and have never used.  They don’t do me any good in the drawer.
4. Ignoring the laundry that needs folded.  That nonsense can wait, only important stuff tonight!
5. Ditto on the dishes.  I gave in to the temptation of making more homemade baby food tonight and in that course of events made a Godawful mess in my kitchen. 

All non-fun things can wait until tomorrow…

Tomorrow, tomorrow… Call me Annie, I’m starting to feel more Broadway already.

I am more hooked on reality shows than I care to be. I was there when MTV started it all with Real World. I was utterly fascinated by the idea that cameras would follow those people, about my age, around 24 hours a day and record their every day lives. I watched every episode faithfully.

Now in the reality show boom, I have to be more selective in my viewing habits or I’d be glued to the DVR 24 hours a day. I resisted American Idol for the first few seasons, but eventually gave in to its siren call. The different versions of Big Brother, the Bachelor, and the Bachelorette, leave me cold. But give me a celebrity doing something ridiculous or outrageously foul language and I’m there.

In addition to Amazing Race and American Idol, my favorite’s include Hell’s Kitchen, Celebrity Apprentice, and Dancing with the Stars. Of these, Dancing with the Stars seems the most mindless, but after some deep thought about a fairly shallow show, I realized what I like about it. These people often have no natural talent whatsoever. They are completely out of their element. Yet, they work really hard and some do amazingly well. In the current season, I’ve just been in love with bull rider Ty Murray as he learned to shake his rump on national television. He really worked hard, and began to show a real sense of humor when he said things like, “I’m approaching dancing like bull-riding, you’re never completely ready, it just becomes your turn.” How many things in life are like that? If we always waited until we were completely ready, we’d always be waiting, never dancing.

My internal predictions were correct for the winners of Amazing Race, Hell’s Kitchen, and Celebrity Apprentice. Finally a cycle of shows where the judges all saw things MY way! What a relief.

This week, the last two of my favorites wrap up. I am predicting that Adam Lambert will win Idol. Really, he’s been miles ahead of the competition from the beginning. I also think Gilles Marini is going to pull out a win on Dancing with the Stars. He is among the few who does seem to have some natural talent brought to light by the show and hours of practice.

So these shows are over for this season and soon school will be out. I will have so much more time on my hands with no mindless enjoyment after Adam goes to bed. Wait, when does “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here,” begin?