Conversations with a 3 year old

Mommy? You used to live in that house?   Before you lived with us?

Yes, baby. I lived there all by myself.  Do you want to live by yourself someday? (please, God.)

Yep! I want to live alone right now!

Oh really? What will you eat?  Will you cook?

Yes!  Spaghettis and noodles!

Tell me more.  How will you cook this?

Well.  I’ll put a little oil in a pan and add some chicken.  Then I’ll get the dry noodles and add them to the pan.  And then I’ll EAT IT.

Good luck with that.

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Mommy?  Do the police just shoot all the bad guys?

Well… they generally just take them to jail.

What’s jail?

Umm… like a really long time out. For adults.

The bad guys don’t have to stay in jail.  Their husbands will just bring them the keys!  Then they can get out.

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Adam.  This is chili.  It’s just noodles, beans, and hamburger.

::giving the spoonful the stink eye::  Sounds good…. but can you make it thicker?

Thicker?  Like Puree of Chili?