Charlie Foxtrot is my new favorite term. It’s a military term and it perfectly describes my day so far.
1. My mother is recovering nicely from her heart attack last week, however, in getting off the pain meds she is having some difficulty. She is concerned for everyone’s salvation and also informed the nurses that “Janet needs money.” Fab-u-lous.
2. I was awakened by a wet, crying 3 year old at 6 am. The very first thought should have been that he wet his bed, which he truly never does, so my befuddled mind went to a.) fever broke, OMG did he have a fever? Did he have a seizure? WtF?? b.) did Ismael put him to bed in a wet shirt last night??? WtF?? Oh wait. He peed. Glorious.
3. I spent 15 minutes looking for his TBall shirt only to arrive at the game in the nick of time to have him act like a loon at the game. Last week, another parent told my friend, “He clearly is bored, you shouldn’t have him play something he doesn’t like.” Really? Just because he is throwing his mitt in the air while “fielding” the ball and refusing to run to first base, I’m not sure where you would get the idea that he is bored. MYOB man.
4. In relation to acting like a loon, the parent who was sitting with the kids on the ground while they waited to bat at the third inning turned around, smiled, and said, “Umm.. he just peed on the ground.” So I made our apologies while Adam asked if his friend was leaving too. Ummm no. Only YOU.
5. I am on a tight schedule today. Ramadan started so there has to be lots of food in the refrigerator ready for Ismael to eat and I don’t have a lot of time to cook it. SO, I threw my half dry son in the grocery cart and wheeled it through Kroger…..where he promptly peed his pants again, in the canned vegetable aisle. To his credit, he TOLD me, but the store is e under construction and I couldn’t find the bathroom fast enough.
6. In the produce aisle, I picked up cherries and promptly dropped them everywhere.
7. In the checkout aisle, my 13 year old cashier called a manager to ring up the small bottle of wine I bought, (It should have been tequila) and she asked for my ID. ID? Lady. I haven’t seen that OR my kid’s special TBall hat for more than two weeks. She blithely replied, “Oh, well it’s corporate policy, I’m sorry.” as she glided away with the small bottle.
That’s okay lady. My name is Charlie Foxtrot and I left a present for you on aisle 7.