My son’s favorite words right now, seem to be, penis and butt. He has long conversations about them and possibly even *with* them. I can’t be certain. He has made up variations of normal phrases that incorporate these words, such as “wag your peeeeeennnnnis.” And then cackles nearly to death.
And God help me, he’s starting to ask questions.
Mommy, you have a penis.
No, sweetie, I don’t.
Then what you have?
Girls don’t have penises.
Then what they have?
What’s it caaaaallllled?
Something else. Oh look! A plane! A dinosaur! Do you want some chocolate? Sweet Jesus, please stop asking me about lady parts.
His mouth has no filter on it whatsoever and any new word he learns is fair game for use anywhere: the grocery, mass, Cracker Barrel. You name it. He’ll use it there. I cannot bring myself to teach him the any name for girl parts, let alone the proper ones, because I know that giving him these words is like loading a gun. Except instead of bang! bang! This gun would go…vagina! vagina! I’m not sure I can handle that. It’s okay as long as he knows by college, right? Marriage? Retirement?