1. How do the words “I don’t want to take a nap” even combine into a coherent sentence in the English language? Especially if the author of that sentence has been up since 5 AM. I mean…
- isn’t there a law of grammar or nature against that?
- who doesn’t want to take a nap? Ever?
- and OMG GET INTO BED ALREADY BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODES
2. If God wanted us to eat more salad – like this here lunch of mine – why didn’t he make greens taste delicious? Like cinnamon rolls?
3. Why are there two daddy ducks and one mama duck nesting near my back patio?
- First, umm… are you all in some kind of weird reverse polygamous relationship? Hoping to get your own tv show, Brother Ducks, or something?
- Second, I hate to break this to you, but where you are planning to next and raise those hatchlings is nothing but a mud puddle in the back yard of an urban apartment complex where the Ipod wearing landscape workers will run you over in a heartbeat.
- Third, there is a state park just two miles down the road. Beat it. It’s more than a Michael Jackson song.
Seeking both enlightenment and a nap,