The past week has found me saying things, out loud to another human being (namely Ismael), like “Gee cooking would be a whole lot easier if this boy didn’t have his face in my butt. Could you PLEASE get him away from me for a little bit?”
I told Twitter: “1200 Sf here and this boy has to occupy only the space adjacent to me.” (Plus Twitter? I don’t get you. It’s like a lot of strangers in a big room shouting at each other.)
By yesterday, I was trying hard to embrace having an additional 37 pound appendage. He could only have been happier if he were actually a tick, embedded under my skin. He’d be all “Can I bring my bendy, crazy straw? This is so AWESOME.” I was at the point of OMGPLEASESTOPTOUCHINGME like a bratty little kid and her little brattier brother in the back seat of mama’s un-air-conditioned* station wagon on a cross country trip. (*how in the world you spell that other than h-o-t?)
Then Lorie arrived and with her came an assortment of handmedown kid videos, a bottle of J-Lo perfume and this***:
And ahhh…. I began to feel better.
Then today my mother came and I escaped for a couple hours. Ahh….
When I came back, she was pointing to this:
To which I replied, “I know! It’s awesome right?”
She didn’t think so.
Fast forward to 10 PM tonight when I open my son’s door for the fourth time since 8 PM and there he is, sitting straight up in bed, blinking at me. I’m sure I looked like an angel surrounded by that 100 watt hallway light.
::Sigh::
Come son. Let me read you a story… oh wait no. You didn’t help me clean up blocks and instead threw Grandma under the bus by saying “Well Grandma got them out.” So I put you to bed at 8, you know, your NORMAL bed time. Hmm…come sit in the chair with me.
::crawls into my lap, snuggles into my chest::
Like a little bear? he asks.
Yes.
::several minutes of snuggles and then mumbles which turn out to be him saying…::
You are my mommy. You. are. my. mommmmy.
::sniffle, snort::
***and yes, I know that America is all up in arms over this book, positive and negative. It’s a joke people, written by someone who was very tired from the attempt to make a small child do what is best for them…sleep.
Ok, first off…that book is fantastic! It’s even more AWESOME that Samuel L. Jackson did an audio recording of it. What’s even funnier is the fact that people are up in arms over a book that was clearly made for adults! And obviously, all those people that are so upset by it, probably never had a 2 year old who was so stubborn he/she pulled out all the stops to prevent going to sleep! But then, once the drama is over, you go in and see him so peaceful…laying in bed….you sigh, kiss his forehead and shut the door…sigh once again and then realize you get to do it all over again tomorrow.
I keep telling myself, it’s just a phase…or is it????